The Breath of Death
(video by Susan the Banshee)

Programs shown in the Hall of Sorcery are rarely seen by outsiders, but a temporary vulnerability in the latest software update allowed us to download a few files. This video was created by Susan the Banshee (whose praises were sung by Shaolin of the Abyss in his FACELESS book), and it is a gold mine of insight into the sophisticated skills behind their attacks.

The program is intended to guide her peers in a series of breathing exercises designed to focus the mind… empower the staff… and accurately launch the Orbs.

“Begin by calming your breath,” she says. “Gaze at the video and concentrate on my rhythmic fluidity. Observe the interplay of shoulders and scepter… you will see a smooth wave riding atop my body, ready at any moment to coil and strike like a powerful serpent.”

Susan explains that this is not just to sharpen the mind, but to leverage steadily flowing movement into readiness for a battle maneuver. “Not only does rhythm induce focus, but it lulls humans into a deceptive calm that slows their response to your attack. By the time you launch your Orbs of Three, it will cost them precious seconds when they try to block or escape.”

Her program builds on this theme, offering exercises to focus Dark Energy, develop unnerving synchrony with fellow witches, and manifest when least expected.

It is a brilliant piece of work, and we can certainly see why Shaolin is so smitten. Susan the Banshee blends her sensuality with centuries of metaphysical research into a martial art of unexpected potency.


A Burgeoning Romance

Looks like there is a rivalry developing between Shaolin and Gabriel. I dropped in on Gabe yesterday, and when I dove behind a pillar to avoid his grumpy fireballs I noticed Susan the Banshee staring at me. She looked relaxed, holding a cup of tea, like she’d been there for a while… then I saw her staff leaning against a wall and a black shawl draped over a fallen column. And the playful way they winked at each other after I took a plasma hit… this explains these photos that one of our research assistants found the other day.

Gabe and Susan, sitting in a tree…

Paradise Vineyards introduces Chateau Gabe wine:

The story has another twist. Gabriel’s boutique winery has released a limited edition label for Valentine’s Day, inspired by his burgeoning romance with Susan. I had a chance to try it yesterday during my visit, and found the blood-red Byzantine libation to be a little cloying, with hints of plasma forward in the nose and a bass note that is aggressive yet easily defeated. Ultimately it was somewhat forgettable, but given the setting and iconography, I could forgive that for the novelty. Susan was nowhere to be seen, but there were two empty glasses on the fallen column where they tend to hang out. Personally I think he just printed a small batch of seasonal labels and slapped them on some old bottles of Sangue di Giuda, but time will tell whether this new red is a keeper.

Valentine-themed wine from Paradise Vineyards

May, 2022 update: Speaking of relationships with Banshees, the June special issue of Esquire is about “Virtual Women We Love,” and it includes features on what to wear when prowling the landscape of the Afterlife, medieval virtue signaling, asking her out in the heat of battle, and what to do if she responds with plasma balls. There is a poignant interview with the prolific Susan the Banshee about interdimensional dating, followed by the evolution of witchy style over the past century and an article from the test kitchen entitled “Analyzing Magic Elixir – Can You Handle More Than One?”

“Virtual Women We Love” feature article

This is part of the In Death: Unchained literature collection by Steven K. Roberts.